40 of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (June 8, 2024)

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  • 01
    Kara @mylifeiskara Me looking at bank charges I absolutely made 9:55 PM 5/29/24 From Earth 6.9M Views • •
  • 02
    Cody James * @codyaims Japan received their first F35 and a Shinto Priest blessed it 220
  • 03
    Fran @whingewine I present to you... Gran Stephen Things Admin Group expert Though this is bad it is a very small issue in the gran stephen things 3 h Like Reply 12:25 PM 5/30/24 1.8M Views • 21 2K Reposts 103 Quotes 37K Likes 1.5K Bookmarks
  • 04
    @GIOOCVMPO LMFAOOOOO TNT SPORTS IN TISSOT JAVS 48 WOLVES maug 27 AURA WOLVES 32 ken @Jailpose. 1d KAT's cry face is hilarious. He be like papito plz I no foul • 11:24 PM 5/28/24 From Earth 6.8M Views
  • 05
    Davo Migo @DeeBlockDavo Mosquitoes down south will pull your pants leg up, pull your sock down and bite your ankle 6:52 PM 5/25/24 From Earth • 1.6M Views 5.8K Reposts 632 Quotes
  • 06
    Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy Instead of "Take Your Child To Work Day" there should be a "Take Your Therapist To Work Day" so they can see exactly what you've been talking about 7:14 AM 6/3/24 316K Views 1.1K Reposts 99 Quotes 12K Likes 291 Bookmarks
  • 07
    Historic Vids @historyinmemes Super Mario is named after real-life businessman Mario Segale, who was renting out a warehouse to Nintendo in the 1980s. After Nintendo fell far behind on rent, Segale did not evict them but gave them a second chance to come up with the money. Nintendo succeeded and named their main character Mario in his honor. Mario Segale, the real Super Mario, passed away the 27 October 2018 at age of 84. 5:33 PM 6/2/24 From Earth • 2.6M Views
  • 08
    Paul Bronks @SlenderSherbet knew it. er, a in the South Unina sea. Some analysts rear China is elevating its presence in the sea so it can conceal its submarines. L t S li cial- ASIA the 1th ra- sea ne- ith uld th :d to inual n g 5. n ce ind- n of : the mly als. China may be using sea to hide its submarines and certainly not to furth- er militarize outposts in the South China Sea." The South China Sea - bounded by Vietnam, China, Taiwan, Japan, the Philippines and Malaysia is one of the world's
  • 09
    Deuce @DeuceThomas Spirit Airlines is just Waffle House in the sky TMZ TMZ @TMZ. 1d A WILD brawl broke out at a #SpiritAirlines check-in counter in Baltimore... and it was all caught on video! 0:55 spirit spirit EXCLUSIVE SPIRIT AIRLINES BRUTAL BRAWL AT CHECK-IN COUNTER ... 4 V 1 In Wild Video!!!
  • 10
    joyce carol ma... @jon-christian.bs... computer scientists: we have Follow invented a virtual dumbass who is constantly wrong tech CEOs: let's add it to every product May 31, 2024 at 6:27 PM
  • 11
    Meatball @meatballworld Men loving showing you a YouTube video. It feels so good for them 2:14 PM 5/29/24 From Earth 2.9M Views 3.4K Reposts 1.3K Quotes.
  • 12
    i like food @messedupfoods @spin oh man this is a good hotdog time to get another hot dog 12:55 PM 6/2/24 From Earth 5.6M Views 3.2K Reposts 218 Quotes
  • 13
    Bring Out the Olives! @Beebz05 If I speak... they'll say I have an American flag hanging off the back of an F150 Ike Magnifico @Ike Magnifico .4d CAPRI SUN HENNESSY FLAVORED Ladd Mae 9:17 PM 5/30/24 From Earth 352K Views
  • 14
    mily @milfy813 US ARMY WedgeBuster ◆ @WedgeBuster88.23h If Iron Man was black, who could pull off that character on screen? • 12:35 PM 6/1/24 From Earth 6.3M Views 17K Reposts 493 Quotes •
  • 15
    Janel Comeau @VeryBadLlama my elderly Egyptian Uber driver happily informed me that he "supports the gays now" because he lives with a lesbian couple and "the husband lesbian is a better husband than I was", happy pride everyone 6:44 PM 6/3/21 10K Reposts 683 Quotes
  • 16
    Mesh @rahsh33m Uncs stomach deployed like an airbag 10:32 AM 6/2/24 From Earth 6.5M Views . 습
  • 17
    rin ⭑++ @rinnystarr my neighbour craig English Version When dubbing the English version of My Neighbor Totoro, the film's executives originally planned on changing Totoro's name to one considered more American. Several new titles were considered, including My Neighbor Craig, My Neighbor Kyle, My Neighbor Joe Toro (Totoro's first name would be Joe and his last name would be Toro - it would also be implied that he was from Cleveland), and My Neighbor Uncle Sam. Eventually director Hayao Miyazaki k
  • 18
    kira ❤❤ @kirawontmiss the timing of this is hilarious LMAOOO 4 DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm. 20h First look at Homelander's trial from 'THE BOYS' Season 4. 7:05 PM · 5/30/24 From Earth ⚫ 7.2M Views 14K Reposts 77 Quotes 190K Likes 3.7K Bookmarks
  • 19
    Roshan Patel @roshanpateI I accidentally said "time" instead of "bandwidth" and my product manager took me into the break room and waterboarded me with lacroix 3:03 PM 5/30/24 From Earth . 966K Views 909 Reposts 30 Quotes 20K Likes 666 Bookmarks
  • 20
    Real Name @FutureHasbeen Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Nathaniel Meyersohn @nmeyersohn. 17h Costco's new finance chief today: "I also want to confirm the $1.50 hot dog price is safe." 7:31 PM 5/30/24 3.9M Views 12K Reposts 52 Quotes 118K Likes 2.5K Bookmarks
  • 21
    r us @godsfavslut I love a man i can gossip with. Like bae u won't believe what she said 6:01 AM 5/29/24 From Earth 2.9M Views • 16K Reposts 1.1K Quotes 93K Likes 4.3K Bookmarks
  • 22
    The okayest poster there is @ok_post_guy What on earth is this photo choice The Independent @Independent. 21h Minnesota man killed pregnant sister and dismembered her, cops say independent.co.uk/ news/world/ame... 2:54 PM 5/29/24 From Earth ⚫ 1M Views
  • 23
    god's weakest soldier @bad_dominicana thought jeff goldblum was a lightskin south asian my whole life. dont @ me.
  • 24
    derek guy @dieworkwear The crazy thing about this outfit is that those are Jacques Marie Mage Last Frontier sunglasses, which retail for $3,250 and never go on sale, whereas the suit looks like it's a poly-blend from Shein pannchoa @pannchoa. 1d Bang Sihyuk looks worry Knets in today's photos tinyurl.com/ywacmбyn 2:10 PM 5/29/24 From Earth 1.1M Views 1K Reposts 463 Quotes 15K Likes 757 Bookmarks YO
  • 25
    Sam Monson @PFF Sam FFF Pretty big needle NFL Notifications @NFLNotify ⚫ 1d . Trevor Lawrence threads the needle to rookie WR Brian Thomas Jr. O 2:14 PM 5/28/24 From Earth . 4.2M Views A 6:06
  • 26
    nono @agonyauaa i'm crying rn "Hobbyhorsing is not a sport, it's easy and everyone can do that.." Oh yeah? This is me after my dressage routine... I was passing out, couldn't breathe, almost throwing up, dizzy, shaking, whole body burning in pain... 1.9M 78.6K 120.3K 127.3K Anna 485.3K Yeah, it looks easy, but this is reality :) #khtduck #hobbyhorsing #dres... more Fangs (Slowed Down) - @Dionnysu... 9:21 AM 6/2/24 From Earth 8.4M Views 8.4K Reposts 1.5K Quotes • 7,834 9407
  • 27
    beer person @CantEverDie tractor @nudeobama-23h Having a 9-5 and being nearly 30 means the only things I do for fun on the weekend are give myself diarrhea or get so high I pass out for 14 hours 44 1.7K 21K ili 921K 1 Antti Boman @lostchimp69420-13h Or you know have kids 273 Il 15K tractor @nudeobama 10h I don't have any room in my schedule for kids because I have to get high or get diarrhea all the time 16 602 ılı 13K 1 • 12:41 AM 5/28/24 2.1M Views
  • 28
    litquidity @litcapital Intern season off to a great start 8:52 AM: cant believe im asking this but how do i reply to that email back from lol ive been messing w it for 5 min 8:54 AM: ?? just to make sure I'm understanding correctly, are you asking me how to reply to an email? 8:54 AM: yes 9:31 AM 6/3/24 From Earth 219K Views • 90 Reposts 14 Quotes 2.9K Likes 102 Bookmarks
  • 29
    kira ❤❤ @kirawontmiss this mf been 87 since i was 4 STYLE Hot Freestyle @HotFreestyle. 2d Morgan Freeman turns 87 years old today, Happy Birthday! • 3:59 PM 6/2/24 From Earth • 12M Views .
  • 30
    Caption Gawd @N9neGawd Used to throw rocks at her when we was kids I guess some things never change @NicaNica_ AA
  • 31
    Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away. 3:04 PM 6/3/24 23K Views 132 Reposts 2 Quotes 688 Likes 19 Bookmarks
  • 32
    LorazeKim ™ @_KimberleyAnna Always tell people different stories about yourself so when they talk about you they'll argue 5:16 PM 6/3/24.935 Views 17 Reposts 32 Likes 1 Bookmark
  • 33
    Roscoe the Cap King @RoscoeJones For pride month you can't say "let me get this straight...", you have to say "just so we're queer..." 12:58 PM 6/3/24 From Earth 560K Views 3.3K Reposts 87 Quotes 21K Likes 887 Bookmarks
  • 34
    Robert Komaniecki @Komaniecki_R Corporations on June 1st 30 mf Suddenly very gay bo 1:06 AM · 6/1/24 · 1.2M Views 5.9K Reposts 109 Quotes 40K Likes 915 Bookmarks
  • 35
    WINIAL juju š @ayeejuju this was the most dangerous place in the world in 2020
  • 36
    hunter harris @hunteryharris many things are embarrassing but watching the ig story of a random acquaintance 52 seconds after it was posted is among the worst • 11:51 AM 5/20/24 From Earth 1.8M Views • 367 Reposts 241 Quotes 7.3K Likes 142 Bookmarks
  • 37
    Emerson Lotzia, Jr. @EmersonLotzia my wife walking downstairs in her pajamas to grab the $20 coffee she ordered on doordash From Yahoo Sports y! 5:29 PM 6/2/24 From Earth - 2.9M Views 습
  • 38
    in the pocket of Big Tenant @AllezLes Boulez it's cool that now whenever you get a green pedestrian walk signal you also need to wait for the last couple drivers to run the red light before crossing 12:13 PM 5/29/24 4.7M Views 5.7K Reposts 682 Quotes
  • 39
    Michael OC @vMichaelv No way JEHOVAH JONES WITNESS • 6:37 PM 6/3/24 From Earth 404K Views
  • 40
    Joel Jeffrey ❤ @joeljeffrey I always order shredded iceberg lettuce on my Subway sandwich because I know my lap is probably hungry too 8:11 PM 6/1/24 6.9K Views •

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